Life!

     Well this is embarrassing...starting a blog, and then never posting on it. I shall...I shall...turn over a new leaf! I will post! After all this time, I actually have quite a bit to say. Probably more than I have time for tonight. Firstly, swim season is over. I was at a loss, stunned into silence about the prospect of a real social life. I was...free! (This was after the awkward but exciting swim banquet in which I won the rookie of the year award mostly because  I had a tendency to put my swim cap on sideways. Whoopee for me...)
     But the freedom was short lived. After a few weeks of laziness, I was restless and needed something to do. I didn't have to look far; in fact the answer to my boredom came in the form of a friend of mine, jumping up and down yelling "You WILL do track!". And so I did.
     I actually kind of hate running, but I decided to give it a try to see what it was like when you do it for fun. The first few days have NOT been fun, just because of one thing I overlooked when emotionally preparing myself to run: soreness. Not just run-of-the-mill vague discomfort, but agony that made me feel as though my muscles were crying in the terrible agony that can only come from lactic acid buildup. Ibuprofen made not a dent, and the only thing I could do is adopt a pathetic expression on my face and sit while others picked up things I dropped and brought me things. Poor, sad, out-of-shape me.
      Change of subject: I know that the purpose of this blog is not to discuss my medical issues, but after a traumatic experience at the ear nose throat doctor, I though I would share this very detailed diagram of my head.

I'm Ba-ack!

     People have been upset lately that I have not been posting. They tell me that they miss my blog, and that I should post again. I then proceed to making an excuse. The reason I haven't been posting on my blog is because... and it goes downhill from there. The actual reason I haven't been posting on my blog is because of swimming. The season is officially over though, and I will now have time to exist.
     Swimming has actually been fun though, and I am kind of sad that it is over. I can do more push ups than last year, and I get to wear the cool team jacket. It is all worth it if you get to wear a cool jacket.
     Tomorrow is actually my birthday! I will be a year older than I am now, and three years older than I was three years ago. (How is that for specific?) I am probably most excited for the bacon I am having for breakfast. I love bacon. I got my own pair of figure skates (early) from my grandparents to give me something to do while I am not swimming. I was also given permission to see the midnight premier of The Hunger Games  so long as my mom won't have to pick me up in jail the next morning. I said we would have to see about the jail part, because I do have a tendency to become irrational late at night.
     Well, that's all for today, folks. I hope to be posting more lately!
             -Goulash

Ahhh....

     So. I know I keep saying this, but I had the craziest week. I had stuff every day, and then a swimming camp. But possibly the worst part is that I had to CLEAN THE BATHROOM! I keep trying to come up with arguments about why I shouldn't have to clean it, but as I'm the only one who uses it, I suppose it is only fair that I should clean it. After scrubbing out the tub and beating back the killer hairballs on the scary yellow Formica counters, I decided to clean the toilet. It isn't a fun task, but it needs to be done. I began, and then I realized how I could make it more fun. New Age! (Now, I'm not a huge New Age person, but I do listen now and then.) I sat and listened to the passionate music, and imagined the hopes and dreams of humanity being washed down the bowl with a few shakes of Comet. That made it much more fun.

Long Week.

    Ugh. I am soooo glad that this week is over! It was long. And boring. The highlight was getting blood drawn, which I enjoyed immensely. The doctors were wondering if my thyroid was unhappy. Apparently it is. That means we can be certain my thyroid is physically happy. Mentally, not so much.
     I was going to go ice skating with a bunch of friends, but then I realized that I had caught 'The Cold'. It has been getting people for the last few weeks, and I succumbed. Bummer. In my 'Adolescent Existing' class, we have to write in a journal for a while. I made a list of viral hemorrhagic fevers that I don't have, and I felt better about my cold. But it is the weekend, and I will sleep and feel better. That's how it goes.
   

Thoughts

   I have had a crazy, crazy, week. I think there is more chlorine in my system than iron. I hope my blood turns green. I would be OK with that. I'm on the Chateau d'If swim team. When people hear that I'm on a swim team, they automatically assume that I must be a good swimmer. If only that were true. It tuns out that you don't need to be a good swimmer to be on a team. I actually look like an asthmatic cat having a seizure that got a premature burial at sea.

    That's about what I look like. Yes, I am that white. 

      One of the highlights of the practices is when we get to use our fins. I feel like a motorboat.  But then my coach tells us to take them off, and we all go back to the drowning asthmatic cat thing.  

     

    

       I haven't posted in a few days. Busy week. I don't really have time to write much now. My mom wants to order nachos. No complaints. I have been becoming increasingly aware of zombies, as well as apocalypses. I am prepared. Are you?
      In other news, I seem to have managed to corrupt Microsoft Word at Chateau d'If. How did I manage that? How did I turn an innocent program into a terrible dictator? Did I pull the cruelty and the coldness to the surface? Probably. 
   

Thought Snatcher

       I was going to write something incredible today, and I had a long list of thing that I wanted to post. But then I let my guard down. The thought snatcher caught me when my defenses were weak, and feasted on my post ideas. So that is why I don't have any bad puns or awesome stories today. Tragic, isn't it?

   On a more pleasant note, I went rappelling today. I didn't wet myself. I didn't die, either. I know you were worried for a second there. I also learned that I have the upper body strength of a potato. What's that, you say? That potatoes don't have upper bodies, let alone upper body strength? Well, neither do I, apparently. I'll have to work on that.

     I was trying to think of something creative to write as my very first post. But nothing came to mind. So here's a picture of a kiwi bird instead. He's in psychological turmoil. He just doesn't know what to believe anymore.

      I suppose I should say a little bit about myself. My name is Goulash. I go to a high school that I will refer to as Chateau d'If.  When I grow up, I want to be a doctor. Or maybe one of those guys that serves popcorn at Disneyland. Whichever one pays more.